Some Pharisees came, and to test Jesus they asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?"

I must admit, that when I read this passage, I felt that perhaps that it would be easier to speak on one of the other readings. The reality is, that many here have been touched by divorce in the family, some are still very sensitive to the circumstance, and to tackle this, is to walk a minefield of emotions and risk the confrontation of some and the opening of old wounds. It would be easy to simple read this passage to say nothing about it and to talk about the challenge of Job, or the testimony of Hebrews. But it kept coming back to me, that this is where our faith is so important. It is my job, my calling, not to ease you through life by giving nice sugar coated thoughts but to tackle the hard issues and to equip each of you and myself with the ability to bring God's perspective into what can only be described as a difficult circumstance.

It is not just the couple concerned and their children that are affected but whole families who are caught up in this process. Parents, Uncles and Aunts, cousins all are caught in this process and also friends. Even if the parting is in the most amicable circumstances the social disruption is devastating.

No-one, no-one is immune. With one in three marriages ending in divorce, there is the potential with my own children to see this happen in my family. Perhaps it will, but I pray it won't.

Now there is an important distinction between God's ideal and the reality of a world with evil. God speaks of Eden - not the world that we read of in the newspapers. God speaks of the permanence of the marriage vow, but Moses in the reality of the world says a man is allowed to issue a certificate of divorce.

I have never met a couple on the journey towards marriage, who have anything but high hopes for their relationship. Nor should I say that there are other that you meet who are in love that can see that ending. But it does.

Perhaps the images of Eden may help. For living in Eden is how most see their relationships. But man lost Eden because of the fruit - good for food, a delight to the eye, or giving the power of God. These are the things that end most relationships as well.

The problem being is that our society is built on these premises, whereas in times past, society did not approve of these values at all.

The shape of our society fosters divorce and the breakdown of relationships. In a throwaway world, why should anything be permanent and if we live with these things long enough, we absorb these values. The message is "When the going gets tough - get out and find an easier way". A friend of mine is frustrated that his son who expressed the desire to become a pilot, when he discovered the amount of work required - which he has the capability to do, gave the idea away to look for something easier. The epidemic of suicides that we experience is much the same escapist mentality. And no matter what the problem is - In laws, Children, Money - it is easier to leave than to face the problem.

And the problem may be within. Few people are prepared to accept the fact that they are responsible for the breakdown. Even adultery, which is the most devastating action against a marriage, may be explained if not excused, by a partner not doing the right thing.

This is actually the third temptation - seeing ourselves as gods in the sense that we cannot fail. Many on the outside of a marriage breakdown can see what one or both partners won't admit - human frailty.

This is the clue to the passage - that human frailty will often destroy God's design. But there is a truism as well. I do not hold for violence in a relationship, and in particular that against women. But the victim is not necessary innocent. Let me explain before I get into trouble:

Many years ago, I got caught into a situation through youth ministry, where I ended up talking at length to a mother of a young lad in the group. It was an eye opener as I found that her son's father was from the first marriage and that that had ended when he bashed her. (Shock 1). Shock 2 - that she had had two or maybe three other failed marriages all for the same reason. In between and since, she had had a number of boyfriends of the live in variety who had also bashed her. She was the victim, but there was an issue in her, that led her to team up with men who hit.

Until this issue is dealt with in its entirety, she was doomed to repeat the past. For most people, we aren't perfect, and so there are parts that can be improved. The ideality of God's design implies the perfection of the individual as well.

Christians are not immune from problems but at least we have God's promise, that if we are open to him, he will change us into this perfection.

So divorce is bound to happen in a world that is less than perfect and in a culture that promotes the concept that some one else is responsible for the problem, it will head into epidemic proportions.

So given that there is divorce, how do we face it?

Without losing sight of God's ideal, we have often the reality of bruised and battered people to deal with. The very nature of this destruction means that the structures, which often carry us through other crises, will not be there. Therefore our role, if we are not to battered is reinforce the love of God, for those who are shattered. It is not our role to engage in judgement rather support. Even when the first parents were sent from Eden, God made the clothing because he loved them, and he sent his Son to bring them home.

Perhaps our biggest role as God's people, is to attack the evil that undermines the marriages. This is not easy, as I believe it is systemic, but the world can be changed if we have the will to do it. Look at the drivel that passes for entertainment. Right through the Olympics, we were plagued by ads for Home and Away where some mindless character was planning to start a relationship with a married man. Are we acting upon this to change our world? Not only is this of import for Christians, but for society in general; for God wrote the owner's manual.

We have an economic system that basically expects both partners to work. No longer is one wage enough for the necessities. No longer the farm support the family. Money - or the lack of it, is one of the five major causes of marriage breakdown. Yet we persist in allowing systems that increase poverty and so vulnerability.

We tend to blame the couple, but how often do we neglect the impact of systems, which we support, on the circumstances.

A radical response is needed. One thing that the impact of divorce close to home is that it confronts us with the need for forgiveness. My assessment of our future, as individuals and the community of God, is that we face now one of the greatest challenges of forgiveness that the church has had to face. Often Christians have declared their forgiveness for their persecutors, but how much harder is it to forgive the friend or family member that hurts us.

Job comes in here- God, his friend, had hurt him, but he could not curse him and die - that was the easy way out. He had to search for forgiveness of the unforgivable. But Jesus did that - his forgiveness cost him his life. We his followers are called to do likewise - it is never easy, it is just our calling. Let us pray for time to find the opportunity to forgive.

Perhaps as a footnote I should add, that I do not these things easy, but from my privileged position of being able to engage regularly with God's word, my journey is towards radical Christianity. I must not run away or seek solace in the ideal world of God, but get into the reality and seek to find the path of God in that. I have enough experience now to know that God wants to confront me with my own issues, and if I am a slow learner, he will find other ways in which to teach me. Let us learn to allow God to encroach even when the times are tough. Let us look beyond the hurts and disappointments and learn from him.